Things I should be doing:
Applying to grad schools.
Sending information about where to send in letters of recommendation to recommenders.
Applying to the peace core.
Homework
Things I'd rather be doing:
Bike riding.
Talking to a certain someone.
Building a time machine and going back to sophomore year. (Why is it that sophomore year always ends up to be the best year?
Things I am doing:
Laundry
Intently listening to the Kings of Leon
Feeling extremely down.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
"you see em drop like flies from their bright sunny skies"
Am I the only person that can listen to only one song for 3 or 4 days straight and still appreciate the song?
I do this especially when I am bike riding, I once went for a 5 hour ride and listened to "Buildings & Mountains" by the Republic Tigers the entire time. It is really good for a long slow ride throughout town.
What song do you like to listen to when you are bike riding?
Though today is more of a "Not the Same" by Ben Folds. The song is about a person who took a horrible acid trip and when he came out of it he became insanely religious. [I get way too happy when I learn what songs about about] [ www.songmeanings.net is a good site for this, though people put just what they think--not what the artists thinks]
I'm missing my brother's first soccer game for worlds of fun. Kind of not okay with that, but I already have the tickets and a friend coming in from Man-happening.
Go Thaddeus! Go Pumpkins!
-dg
I do this especially when I am bike riding, I once went for a 5 hour ride and listened to "Buildings & Mountains" by the Republic Tigers the entire time. It is really good for a long slow ride throughout town.
What song do you like to listen to when you are bike riding?
Though today is more of a "Not the Same" by Ben Folds. The song is about a person who took a horrible acid trip and when he came out of it he became insanely religious. [I get way too happy when I learn what songs about about] [ www.songmeanings.net is a good site for this, though people put just what they think--not what the artists thinks]
I'm missing my brother's first soccer game for worlds of fun. Kind of not okay with that, but I already have the tickets and a friend coming in from Man-happening.
Go Thaddeus! Go Pumpkins!
-dg
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Critical Mass
So, I found an aspect of bike riding I don't like: Critical Mass. That is not true I think the idea of Critical Mass is awesome and important. I was proud to be a part of Critical Mass. My problem lies with Lawrence's Critical Mass.
I should rewind for a second and explain Critical Mass. Critical Mass is a movement in over 300 cities world wide to raise awareness of bicyclists. It was started in 1992 in San Francisco and is leaderless. The only plans given is to meet at a specific place at a specific time (6:00 p.m. Wescoe Beach for Lawrence, usually 5:30 p.m. in other cities) on the last Friday of every month and to travel around the city as a group. In cities like San Francisco they have at least 1,000 riders--so it really does raise awareness.
I believe the whole idea of Critical Mass is very important but there are a few aspects of it that I do not like:
For example in bigger cities (which I just learned about this and am sure if we had more people Lawrence would attempted it) "corking" is practiced. This is when cyclists who are not riding stand in the middle of intersections to block traffic so the cyclists can ride through red lights, though they do leave one side of the intersection alone. They either hold up their bicycles (known in Chicago as the Chicago Hold Up!) or lay down next to their bicycles (to represent the bicyclists that have been hit by cars) to block the traffic.
In Lawrence, none of us wore helmets. The only two bikes that had working brakes were my bike and my roommates bike, we were also the only two bikes to not be fixies. We did not stop at any stop signs and the boys would weave in out of both sides of the streets randomly. All of these signs seem to say "hey fuck you cars, we are more important than you"--when really the movement is about rasing awareness, not about being an asshole.
That being said we only had one guy yell at us to get on the sidewalk. We had countless people honking, waving, clapping, cheering and some guy (who I kid you not was drinking a budweiser at a stoplight) rolled his window down so we could jam out to his music. This was not necessary as Charlie, the guy who stayed behind everyone--which I thought was really cool of him, had a backpack with speakers and was blasting the MJ in honor of MJ.
That being said, I will probably do Critical Mass again (although the next time I will definitly be drinking way more water throughout the day before hand) because I have almost been hit numerous times for stopping at a stop sign, crossing an intersection or just biking down the street.
I should rewind for a second and explain Critical Mass. Critical Mass is a movement in over 300 cities world wide to raise awareness of bicyclists. It was started in 1992 in San Francisco and is leaderless. The only plans given is to meet at a specific place at a specific time (6:00 p.m. Wescoe Beach for Lawrence, usually 5:30 p.m. in other cities) on the last Friday of every month and to travel around the city as a group. In cities like San Francisco they have at least 1,000 riders--so it really does raise awareness.
I believe the whole idea of Critical Mass is very important but there are a few aspects of it that I do not like:
For example in bigger cities (which I just learned about this and am sure if we had more people Lawrence would attempted it) "corking" is practiced. This is when cyclists who are not riding stand in the middle of intersections to block traffic so the cyclists can ride through red lights, though they do leave one side of the intersection alone. They either hold up their bicycles (known in Chicago as the Chicago Hold Up!) or lay down next to their bicycles (to represent the bicyclists that have been hit by cars) to block the traffic.
In Lawrence, none of us wore helmets. The only two bikes that had working brakes were my bike and my roommates bike, we were also the only two bikes to not be fixies. We did not stop at any stop signs and the boys would weave in out of both sides of the streets randomly. All of these signs seem to say "hey fuck you cars, we are more important than you"--when really the movement is about rasing awareness, not about being an asshole.
That being said we only had one guy yell at us to get on the sidewalk. We had countless people honking, waving, clapping, cheering and some guy (who I kid you not was drinking a budweiser at a stoplight) rolled his window down so we could jam out to his music. This was not necessary as Charlie, the guy who stayed behind everyone--which I thought was really cool of him, had a backpack with speakers and was blasting the MJ in honor of MJ.
That being said, I will probably do Critical Mass again (although the next time I will definitly be drinking way more water throughout the day before hand) because I have almost been hit numerous times for stopping at a stop sign, crossing an intersection or just biking down the street.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
This blog post will come in several parts and is being written as I am currently still really sick and way out of it, so excuse grammar, spelling and word choice mistakes.
Part I Catching Up
I haven't been feeling decent emotionally or mentally lately. On Friday night into Saturday morning I worked from 11 pm to 9 am. At about 5 am I got violently ill but stuck it out for the rest of the shift. I went up and went to bed and woke up around 2:30--still violently ill.
Part II Driving
I ended up making a horrible decision to drive to my mom's house because in my head I thought I'll be better off there. The drive home takes about 35 to 40 minutes and I fell asleep twice. I also took my exit going 80, not realizing what I was doing till I had to slam on the brakes to prevent flying off the edge. Slamming on my brakes caused my car to almost flip and roll. It would have instantly killed me because my windows were open and I wasn't wearing a seat belt. This is the third time this has happened to me. The first time I was in my red KIA and exited for Lawrence and there was ice on the road and I should have slid off but slammed on my breaks and surprisingly didn't. The second time I was with Allison, and this is the only time I feel horrible about it. I mean if I kill myself because of my driving, I'm okay with that but if I kill one of my friends would only hope I would end up dead as well because there is no way I could tell someone's parents "I was driving and stupidly sped and didn't pay attention. Sorry I killed your daughter my best friend." Anywho, the second time I was driving around back roads in North Shawnee, near Lake Quivera. In high school I knew these roads like the back of my hand and I knew when I could speed, when the 90 degree turn was and where the dead ends were. I ended up going from 65 to 0 in a matter of 4 seconds and really honestly I have no explanation for how we didn't slam face first into grassy hill where the road made a T.
Part III Shutting Out
I've been completely shutting out various people in my life right now, simply because it is what I need to do. It is what I do when I don't know what else to do or how else to solve the problem, and it is what has worked in the past.
Part IV Meat
I use to hate the fact that my family basically consists of a bunch of carnivores. However, my roommates eat primarily vegetables and fish, which means in Lawrence I ate primarily vegetables. It is nice to come home and have the three meals I will eat at my mom's house consist of ham and bean soup, pepperoni pizza and steak.
Part V Location
I wish Lansing was closer to everything. I was planning on getting father's day stuff for the step dad yesterday but then the whole violently ill thing happened so now I have to drive 20 minutes to the "close target."
Part VI Sleeping
I came home so tired, sore, sick and hungry that my mom made me sleep all day, shower and eat. Then at night time she gave me something to help me sleep. She says it was a sleeping pill, I think it was mixed with LSD. The last thing I remember is opening a diet coke to take the pill and then remembering I had to do laundry. Walking to the laundry machine made me feel like I was incredibly drunk. This is the last thing I remember. I woke up in a position of obviously protecting myself, the diet coke was completely empty and I had called Nicholas and sent Joel texts.
- Sub Part VI Two Friends: Nicholas is my very amazing roommate for next year. Joel is my best friend. I am convinced Joel and I are on a extremely deep level because every once in a while he will say (or I will say) something completely off topic and it will be the very next thing the I was going to (or he was going to) say. Also because we tend to call each other when the other needs it. Now, this was less believable when we lived together because we were always around. However, we have both made it a point to get out more and spend more time with other friends now that we live apart. So, the fact that Joel has called me twice in the past 5 days and both times he was the exact person I wanted to hear from and needed to talk to makes me realize how incredibly important he is in my life.
So, I don't know what I talked to Nicholas about. However the text conversation I had with Joel was as follows.
D: "I love how my mom's answer to being sick and tired is giving me one extra strength sleeping pill."
D: "O man thr world is melting around mr ans everxthink is goigng much slower thab norman."
J: "Are you ok?"
D: "These pills are like slowing down everything around me and ita,s all melting i.to ny cave"
J: "Let your mom know."
D: "Know x.au?"
D: "Yuk should come i'm my cave. The muppets are mad e of veggies and tqlk along tkm deval wears prad.a its awesome"
J: "That the pills are really affecting you."
D: "You should come hang out in this cool cave; but if you come yours legs get numb jusr warning"
J: "Haha sounds fun"
D: "..quat to trun off mi telefornn so I don't vect the cave."
So, apparently I had some epic battle last night inside a cave with some vegetable Muppets. I'm guessing I lost because I woke up with my hands and arms covering my face and the top of my head.
Part VI.1 My Brother and the Bike
My mom and Jeff bought my brother a brand new bigger bicycle a couple of days ago. It is green and black and overall the epitome of this bike is manly and made for a kid that beats guys up, chews tobacco and is going to be a professional wrestler. It says I'm mean and tough and probably going to ride through a big pile of mud and then ride their your house, sucker! Well all of it accept for one part. Suzie Q. Yes, that is right. Awhile ago I was teaching my brother how to ride his older (too small for him, hence the new one) bike. He was struggling with it and I thought it was just that his legs were too big (which eventually was the problem because he races down the street on this new bike, I swear the kid has no fear) but I decided maybe he was scared of trying something new. He also refused to put his bike back in the garage when he was done with it. So, I thought it would be a good idea to have him name his bike. I figured it would make it less scary to him and more important to him, so he named the last bike "tricycle" not the most creative name but it will do. So, Suzie Q--I've suspected my brother to be gay for awhile now. Part of me thinks oh he is 2 or 3 or 4 and just boys at that age are kind of flamboyant. However, I have never heard a 4 year old boy name something Suzie Q. I want my brother to be happy in life and I am going to completely support whatever path is meant for him. I am worried that because he lives in Lansing Kansas and has two homophobic parents (my mom is one of those, gays are okay but not in my back yard and Jeff is one of those the bible says being gay is wrong, I think it is wrong, it is wrong types of folks. However, he would never be impolite to a gay person to their face. ) that if he is in fact gay it will be pretty hard for him growing up. I can't help but think maybe God has give me a best friend who happens to be gay as a resource for the years to come with my brother. I know out of everyone in my family I am the most accepting and probably going to be an extremely important person for my brother growing up, if he is in fact gay. Part of me feels that I need to stay in Kansas to help him but then part of me knows I need to leave Kansas to help myself.
Part VI.2 My brother and the Tie
My family and Jeff went to church this morning. It is a relaxed church where wearing jeans is perfectly acceptable. So, my brother walked around the house this morning talking about how he really wanted to wear a tie to church, his tie with cars on it. My step-dad said that since he wasn't wearing a shirt with a collar on it, he couldn't wear the tie. Jeff obviously hasn't been to a concert in Lawrence lately, no collar but ties on is totally in right now! My brother's tie has a zipper on it, so basically you zip the tie up to your neck. It is sweet, genius and something most adults should own for themselves. I say, the kid is four--this is the time when he can wear something that would seem ridiculous but since he is 4 it doesn't matter, he is just expressing his creativity!
Part VII Prairie Home Companion and Bluegrass
I love bluegrass, especially when I just happen to catch an episode of Prairie Home Companion where Sara Watkins of Nickel Creek is on.
Part VIII Divorce
While I do miss having my original family together, for the most part I am happy they got a divorce. Yes, I think they could have worked it out and stayed married--but I know from personal experience the feeling of being cheated on is horrible and you really can't ever 100% forgive and trust the person. It becomes a fact in your relationship and will always be there. Yes you can get past it, but it will always be there. The only time the divorce really sucks is Holidays, Anniversaries and Birthdays. Like father's day. Now, I'm not a fan of my step-dad, he is not a horrible guy but I would rather do without him in my life--so for me celebrating father's day with him isn't important. My day is the most pro-active deadbeat dad ever. Meaning, he is a step and a half away from being a dead beat dad but does just enough to slid under the radar of dead beat dad. I'd rather spend father's day with him because I wouldn't exist without him but spending father's day with Jeff is very important to my mom. So, here I am feeling guilty and spending time I could being studying for tomorrow with the two families.
but then all is fair... all is fair.
danielle
Part I Catching Up
I haven't been feeling decent emotionally or mentally lately. On Friday night into Saturday morning I worked from 11 pm to 9 am. At about 5 am I got violently ill but stuck it out for the rest of the shift. I went up and went to bed and woke up around 2:30--still violently ill.
Part II Driving
I ended up making a horrible decision to drive to my mom's house because in my head I thought I'll be better off there. The drive home takes about 35 to 40 minutes and I fell asleep twice. I also took my exit going 80, not realizing what I was doing till I had to slam on the brakes to prevent flying off the edge. Slamming on my brakes caused my car to almost flip and roll. It would have instantly killed me because my windows were open and I wasn't wearing a seat belt. This is the third time this has happened to me. The first time I was in my red KIA and exited for Lawrence and there was ice on the road and I should have slid off but slammed on my breaks and surprisingly didn't. The second time I was with Allison, and this is the only time I feel horrible about it. I mean if I kill myself because of my driving, I'm okay with that but if I kill one of my friends would only hope I would end up dead as well because there is no way I could tell someone's parents "I was driving and stupidly sped and didn't pay attention. Sorry I killed your daughter my best friend." Anywho, the second time I was driving around back roads in North Shawnee, near Lake Quivera. In high school I knew these roads like the back of my hand and I knew when I could speed, when the 90 degree turn was and where the dead ends were. I ended up going from 65 to 0 in a matter of 4 seconds and really honestly I have no explanation for how we didn't slam face first into grassy hill where the road made a T.
Part III Shutting Out
I've been completely shutting out various people in my life right now, simply because it is what I need to do. It is what I do when I don't know what else to do or how else to solve the problem, and it is what has worked in the past.
Part IV Meat
I use to hate the fact that my family basically consists of a bunch of carnivores. However, my roommates eat primarily vegetables and fish, which means in Lawrence I ate primarily vegetables. It is nice to come home and have the three meals I will eat at my mom's house consist of ham and bean soup, pepperoni pizza and steak.
Part V Location
I wish Lansing was closer to everything. I was planning on getting father's day stuff for the step dad yesterday but then the whole violently ill thing happened so now I have to drive 20 minutes to the "close target."
Part VI Sleeping
I came home so tired, sore, sick and hungry that my mom made me sleep all day, shower and eat. Then at night time she gave me something to help me sleep. She says it was a sleeping pill, I think it was mixed with LSD. The last thing I remember is opening a diet coke to take the pill and then remembering I had to do laundry. Walking to the laundry machine made me feel like I was incredibly drunk. This is the last thing I remember. I woke up in a position of obviously protecting myself, the diet coke was completely empty and I had called Nicholas and sent Joel texts.
- Sub Part VI Two Friends: Nicholas is my very amazing roommate for next year. Joel is my best friend. I am convinced Joel and I are on a extremely deep level because every once in a while he will say (or I will say) something completely off topic and it will be the very next thing the I was going to (or he was going to) say. Also because we tend to call each other when the other needs it. Now, this was less believable when we lived together because we were always around. However, we have both made it a point to get out more and spend more time with other friends now that we live apart. So, the fact that Joel has called me twice in the past 5 days and both times he was the exact person I wanted to hear from and needed to talk to makes me realize how incredibly important he is in my life.
So, I don't know what I talked to Nicholas about. However the text conversation I had with Joel was as follows.
D: "I love how my mom's answer to being sick and tired is giving me one extra strength sleeping pill."
D: "O man thr world is melting around mr ans everxthink is goigng much slower thab norman."
J: "Are you ok?"
D: "These pills are like slowing down everything around me and ita,s all melting i.to ny cave"
J: "Let your mom know."
D: "Know x.au?"
D: "Yuk should come i'm my cave. The muppets are mad e of veggies and tqlk along tkm deval wears prad.a its awesome"
J: "That the pills are really affecting you."
D: "You should come hang out in this cool cave; but if you come yours legs get numb jusr warning"
J: "Haha sounds fun"
D: "..quat to trun off mi telefornn so I don't vect the cave."
So, apparently I had some epic battle last night inside a cave with some vegetable Muppets. I'm guessing I lost because I woke up with my hands and arms covering my face and the top of my head.
Part VI.1 My Brother and the Bike
My mom and Jeff bought my brother a brand new bigger bicycle a couple of days ago. It is green and black and overall the epitome of this bike is manly and made for a kid that beats guys up, chews tobacco and is going to be a professional wrestler. It says I'm mean and tough and probably going to ride through a big pile of mud and then ride their your house, sucker! Well all of it accept for one part. Suzie Q. Yes, that is right. Awhile ago I was teaching my brother how to ride his older (too small for him, hence the new one) bike. He was struggling with it and I thought it was just that his legs were too big (which eventually was the problem because he races down the street on this new bike, I swear the kid has no fear) but I decided maybe he was scared of trying something new. He also refused to put his bike back in the garage when he was done with it. So, I thought it would be a good idea to have him name his bike. I figured it would make it less scary to him and more important to him, so he named the last bike "tricycle" not the most creative name but it will do. So, Suzie Q--I've suspected my brother to be gay for awhile now. Part of me thinks oh he is 2 or 3 or 4 and just boys at that age are kind of flamboyant. However, I have never heard a 4 year old boy name something Suzie Q. I want my brother to be happy in life and I am going to completely support whatever path is meant for him. I am worried that because he lives in Lansing Kansas and has two homophobic parents (my mom is one of those, gays are okay but not in my back yard and Jeff is one of those the bible says being gay is wrong, I think it is wrong, it is wrong types of folks. However, he would never be impolite to a gay person to their face. ) that if he is in fact gay it will be pretty hard for him growing up. I can't help but think maybe God has give me a best friend who happens to be gay as a resource for the years to come with my brother. I know out of everyone in my family I am the most accepting and probably going to be an extremely important person for my brother growing up, if he is in fact gay. Part of me feels that I need to stay in Kansas to help him but then part of me knows I need to leave Kansas to help myself.
Part VI.2 My brother and the Tie
My family and Jeff went to church this morning. It is a relaxed church where wearing jeans is perfectly acceptable. So, my brother walked around the house this morning talking about how he really wanted to wear a tie to church, his tie with cars on it. My step-dad said that since he wasn't wearing a shirt with a collar on it, he couldn't wear the tie. Jeff obviously hasn't been to a concert in Lawrence lately, no collar but ties on is totally in right now! My brother's tie has a zipper on it, so basically you zip the tie up to your neck. It is sweet, genius and something most adults should own for themselves. I say, the kid is four--this is the time when he can wear something that would seem ridiculous but since he is 4 it doesn't matter, he is just expressing his creativity!
Part VII Prairie Home Companion and Bluegrass
I love bluegrass, especially when I just happen to catch an episode of Prairie Home Companion where Sara Watkins of Nickel Creek is on.
Part VIII Divorce
While I do miss having my original family together, for the most part I am happy they got a divorce. Yes, I think they could have worked it out and stayed married--but I know from personal experience the feeling of being cheated on is horrible and you really can't ever 100% forgive and trust the person. It becomes a fact in your relationship and will always be there. Yes you can get past it, but it will always be there. The only time the divorce really sucks is Holidays, Anniversaries and Birthdays. Like father's day. Now, I'm not a fan of my step-dad, he is not a horrible guy but I would rather do without him in my life--so for me celebrating father's day with him isn't important. My day is the most pro-active deadbeat dad ever. Meaning, he is a step and a half away from being a dead beat dad but does just enough to slid under the radar of dead beat dad. I'd rather spend father's day with him because I wouldn't exist without him but spending father's day with Jeff is very important to my mom. So, here I am feeling guilty and spending time I could being studying for tomorrow with the two families.
but then all is fair... all is fair.
danielle
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Growing Up.
I'm scared shitless. I just registered for the GRE on August 20th. Which basically means, if I fuck it up--that's all. I feel as if our generation is just expected to know how to do everything. I mean we do have the series of tubes we call the interweb which can pretty much teach us anything but I have no clue where to start on applying to grad schools. The only thing I know is--I want to leave Kansas and I want to study the physical world in some aspect. I want to go to a school that is good and has good people. I want to go to a place where I am going to get much more out of it than just an education, yet I really want a good education. I really should stop writing this and focus on ethics.
Friday, May 29, 2009
I love summer. I really do. I mean, honestly who doesn't.
I also love seeing the look on your best friend's face when you surprise him by driving halfway across town at 1 in the morning just to see him tend bar for the 2nd and probably last time in his life. Especially after texting him the whole night saying how you couldn't make it out there because it is too far. I just like seeing people genuinely happy especially if I am the cause or part of the cause of their happiness. Especially if it is something as small as driving to their work. The look on his face when I walked up to the bar, priceless. Knowning that something means so much to someone just makes everything worth it.
I think this is why I like bike riding so much. It just gives me time to appreciate life, to appreciate Lawrence and to appreciate myself. Buying a bike last year was the single best decision in my life. I am not sure about anything else I have ever decided but buying my bike was the best 70 dollars I have ever spent and the best decision I have ever made. Man, I can't say that enough. My bike gives me confidence in my self, my appearence, my awareness and many things. I just plain makes me happy. What I love the most about it is that I can bike 5 mile, 10, 15, 30 miles and still want more. I can't run even half a mile. I don't get anything out of running other than wishing it was over and feeling good after I finish. However I get excited about biking before I even have my bike with me. I feel free and incredibly happy when I am on my bike. I feel good about myself and like I got a good workout when I am done riding. I'm going to stop talking about my love obession with my bike now.
I also love seeing the look on your best friend's face when you surprise him by driving halfway across town at 1 in the morning just to see him tend bar for the 2nd and probably last time in his life. Especially after texting him the whole night saying how you couldn't make it out there because it is too far. I just like seeing people genuinely happy especially if I am the cause or part of the cause of their happiness. Especially if it is something as small as driving to their work. The look on his face when I walked up to the bar, priceless. Knowning that something means so much to someone just makes everything worth it.
I think this is why I like bike riding so much. It just gives me time to appreciate life, to appreciate Lawrence and to appreciate myself. Buying a bike last year was the single best decision in my life. I am not sure about anything else I have ever decided but buying my bike was the best 70 dollars I have ever spent and the best decision I have ever made. Man, I can't say that enough. My bike gives me confidence in my self, my appearence, my awareness and many things. I just plain makes me happy. What I love the most about it is that I can bike 5 mile, 10, 15, 30 miles and still want more. I can't run even half a mile. I don't get anything out of running other than wishing it was over and feeling good after I finish. However I get excited about biking before I even have my bike with me. I feel free and incredibly happy when I am on my bike. I feel good about myself and like I got a good workout when I am done riding. I'm going to stop talking about my love obession with my bike now.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Finding truth through writing.
I am a terrible writer, I really am. I have a love addiction to run on sentences and the em dash. I get so excited about what I am writing about, that I want to include everything and anything. I don't understand cutting back and only focusing on one subject, when there is so much I want to say. I'm so bad that my journalism teacher in high school tried to get my mom to pull me out of the program and out of the staff. I mean, THAT is the epitome of being a bad writer.
My friend was editing my Spanish paper last night and he joked that "you can't translate this into Spanish, if it is already dumb in English."
(Man, I reference him a lot in ways that make him seem like a jerk. However, he isn't, I swear. Last night he could have been in a coffee shop being productive, watching a movie at his house or generally enjoying life. Instead he came to my residence hall to edit my paper when I was on night duty and could not leave. Plus, he puts up with my all out raunchy and awkward, but never the less awesome, comments and just laughs about them. I mean, yesterday I learned about Female To Male post op surgeries and the process they go through and he laughed about it when I told him.)
See, if I was a good writer I would some how transition FTM back to my terrible writing.
So, let me see if I can transition this. I am terrible at being a female. I'm not trying to say I want to be a FTM, I strongly support those that made that transition but I like being a girl. I may suck at it, but I like it. This is kind of how I feel about writing.
I guess I am just use to getting insulted about my writing but here is the thing-- I LOVE to write. I love to find out people's stories and how they got where they are. I came to college expecting to stay in love with journalism and find all the little niches in the college life. Unfortunately this was not the case. I found people who just wanted to get an award for their writing. I found people who never missed a comma but never added in an extra one. I found people who were more concerned with an extraordinary synoym for the world corn in a story about a plain quiet farming family. I found out that this was not the type of journalism I wanted to do. This is one thing I actually do love about the internet. I am now studying environmental issues and geography but anytime I get an itch to write I can come here and be the journalist I shouldn't be.
My blog does not require me to have a degree in journalism, creative writing or english. I love that.
I'm incredibly happy that during the first semester of my freshman year I discovered this. I'm glad I left the journalism field and found something I'm actually good at doing and also love to do. When I think back to high school I often wish I would have spent more time in Environmental Education. I think back to the countless hours I dedicated to a book that was so important to me, but that I haven't touched in over three years. However, when I truly think about it I am glad my mom kept me in the program. I do feel sorry that people had to read my shitty writing and think of a nice way to say this is horrible let's fix it. But (see never start a sentance with but) the program gave me some of the greatest friends - 3 of whom I still talk to daily. It gave me a way to express my nerdism and gave me something to care about. It kept me from being depressed and was a niche I fit into, despite my lack of grammar skills.
It reminds me of something the dean of the school of education once told me. Some of you will be amazing at this and love it and this is where you belong. Some of you will be amazing at it and hate it. Some of you will be horrible at it and love it. While he was talking about being a teacher, this applies to me so much more with writing.
To those of you who read this, I hope you find something that you are amazing at and that you love and that you do it. I also hope you find something you are horrible at but love doing and you keep doing it.
My friend was editing my Spanish paper last night and he joked that "you can't translate this into Spanish, if it is already dumb in English."
(Man, I reference him a lot in ways that make him seem like a jerk. However, he isn't, I swear. Last night he could have been in a coffee shop being productive, watching a movie at his house or generally enjoying life. Instead he came to my residence hall to edit my paper when I was on night duty and could not leave. Plus, he puts up with my all out raunchy and awkward, but never the less awesome, comments and just laughs about them. I mean, yesterday I learned about Female To Male post op surgeries and the process they go through and he laughed about it when I told him.)
See, if I was a good writer I would some how transition FTM back to my terrible writing.
So, let me see if I can transition this. I am terrible at being a female. I'm not trying to say I want to be a FTM, I strongly support those that made that transition but I like being a girl. I may suck at it, but I like it. This is kind of how I feel about writing.
I guess I am just use to getting insulted about my writing but here is the thing-- I LOVE to write. I love to find out people's stories and how they got where they are. I came to college expecting to stay in love with journalism and find all the little niches in the college life. Unfortunately this was not the case. I found people who just wanted to get an award for their writing. I found people who never missed a comma but never added in an extra one. I found people who were more concerned with an extraordinary synoym for the world corn in a story about a plain quiet farming family. I found out that this was not the type of journalism I wanted to do. This is one thing I actually do love about the internet. I am now studying environmental issues and geography but anytime I get an itch to write I can come here and be the journalist I shouldn't be.
My blog does not require me to have a degree in journalism, creative writing or english. I love that.
I'm incredibly happy that during the first semester of my freshman year I discovered this. I'm glad I left the journalism field and found something I'm actually good at doing and also love to do. When I think back to high school I often wish I would have spent more time in Environmental Education. I think back to the countless hours I dedicated to a book that was so important to me, but that I haven't touched in over three years. However, when I truly think about it I am glad my mom kept me in the program. I do feel sorry that people had to read my shitty writing and think of a nice way to say this is horrible let's fix it. But (see never start a sentance with but) the program gave me some of the greatest friends - 3 of whom I still talk to daily. It gave me a way to express my nerdism and gave me something to care about. It kept me from being depressed and was a niche I fit into, despite my lack of grammar skills.
It reminds me of something the dean of the school of education once told me. Some of you will be amazing at this and love it and this is where you belong. Some of you will be amazing at it and hate it. Some of you will be horrible at it and love it. While he was talking about being a teacher, this applies to me so much more with writing.
To those of you who read this, I hope you find something that you are amazing at and that you love and that you do it. I also hope you find something you are horrible at but love doing and you keep doing it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
BSMDA - Charities!
Blog some more days in april?
So, I want to start a Charity--or help one that has been started but it slumping get off the ground.
I have so much random knowledge flowing through my brain. I know stuff about environmental issues, geography, GIS, GPS, Remote Sensing, public relations, advertising, writing, history, american history, biking riding, gardening. I want to combine all of these to make one super awesome charity. I just don't know how, or what to do. Is anyone else where I am at and wants to team up to decrease world suck?
-danielle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvjM04Nfq2E
So, I want to start a Charity--or help one that has been started but it slumping get off the ground.
I have so much random knowledge flowing through my brain. I know stuff about environmental issues, geography, GIS, GPS, Remote Sensing, public relations, advertising, writing, history, american history, biking riding, gardening. I want to combine all of these to make one super awesome charity. I just don't know how, or what to do. Is anyone else where I am at and wants to team up to decrease world suck?
-danielle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvjM04Nfq2E
Saturday, April 11, 2009
BSDA (not for those that get offended easily when it comes to religion.. though I would like some opinions)
Blog Some days In April?
So, my window looks out the this amazing view of Lawrence and Campus.. well and a ginormous air conditioner unit.. but if you look over that part. My window is a little more than half my entire East facing wall. Which is awesome, except in the morning. Like right now, when I can barely see what I am typing because of the flux of sun that is in my room.
Did anyone see the moon last night? It started off huge and blood red at a low level, but when within 30 minutes was the normal size and up in the sky. I thought that never happened, that it was one or the other.
Yesterday was Good Friday, which I didn't know until I invited a friend to a concert and he almost acted appalled. So, I ask a lot of my christian, catholic and friends who had to go to catholic school in high school, why it was called Good Friday and not something like horrible Friday, worst Friday ever, the Friday of Suckith. None of them could explain to me, so I asked my friend who is completely nonreligious, if anyone has been to church less than me--it's him. AND HE KNEW! Well, at least he was the only one who could give me an answer. Which was it is called Good Friday because everyone gets a clean slate and gets a chance to go to heaven. The only way he knew this though is through his dad. His dad went on a huge knowledge binge awhile back and learned about every religion and what makes them work and their entire story... just for fun and to know. I kind of think it is funny an Atheist knows more about Jesus than most of my Christian friends. It always suprises me that some of my smartest friends are very religious. I mean the story of how Jesus came to be, and what happened to him--is extremely far fetched. I mean seriously, a virgin mom? Jesus comes back as, for lack of any other word, a zombie? How is this any more believeable than aliens dropped down and did it, or scientology?
It's early and that is gonna offend someone, I should probably BLIA (Blog less in april)
DFTBA
Danielle
So, my window looks out the this amazing view of Lawrence and Campus.. well and a ginormous air conditioner unit.. but if you look over that part. My window is a little more than half my entire East facing wall. Which is awesome, except in the morning. Like right now, when I can barely see what I am typing because of the flux of sun that is in my room.
Did anyone see the moon last night? It started off huge and blood red at a low level, but when within 30 minutes was the normal size and up in the sky. I thought that never happened, that it was one or the other.
Yesterday was Good Friday, which I didn't know until I invited a friend to a concert and he almost acted appalled. So, I ask a lot of my christian, catholic and friends who had to go to catholic school in high school, why it was called Good Friday and not something like horrible Friday, worst Friday ever, the Friday of Suckith. None of them could explain to me, so I asked my friend who is completely nonreligious, if anyone has been to church less than me--it's him. AND HE KNEW! Well, at least he was the only one who could give me an answer. Which was it is called Good Friday because everyone gets a clean slate and gets a chance to go to heaven. The only way he knew this though is through his dad. His dad went on a huge knowledge binge awhile back and learned about every religion and what makes them work and their entire story... just for fun and to know. I kind of think it is funny an Atheist knows more about Jesus than most of my Christian friends. It always suprises me that some of my smartest friends are very religious. I mean the story of how Jesus came to be, and what happened to him--is extremely far fetched. I mean seriously, a virgin mom? Jesus comes back as, for lack of any other word, a zombie? How is this any more believeable than aliens dropped down and did it, or scientology?
It's early and that is gonna offend someone, I should probably BLIA (Blog less in april)
DFTBA
Danielle
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Am I too old to be a nerdfighter?
In one of the groups I am in, someone said they felt a little creepy because there was a slight age gap between them an the creator of the group. Now, he was just talking about the particular topic of the group but I know at several times I have felt this way about nerdfighters in general. So, I thought I would blog about it giving examples of feeling creepy and then my thoughts on it.
Seeing John and Hank
Back in November I celebrated my 21st birthday, I also attended the KC nerdfighters convention with John and Hank, with another 21 year old friend name Jackie. While there I saw two of my friends who are 22 and 21 and I'm sure we all just kind of noticed something odd about the event. We were all surrounded by 12-16 year olds. I was about the 6th person to arrive at the event and even skipped my GIS class for it. (If that isn't the definition of nerd, I don't know what is) As Jackie and I started to talk to the random girls there, we heard about how they were excited to be starting high school, were excited to be in high school or were excited to start looking for colleges. We met two freshmen in college who had driven 3 hours to see the event and even they felt a little creepy, though way less than us. Aside from my creepy friends, the only other older people there seemed to be either real life friends with Hank or John or the parents of the book obsessed and totally awesome nerdfighters.
Getting friends to join
So, a very good friend of mine use to make fun of Jackie and me for spending so much time on nerdfighters and use to make fun of us for reading John's books because they are geared towards 15 year old girls, or the twilight generation if you will. However, I some how convinced him enough to read Paper Towns in which he read in one night and flipped out about how great it was. Since then he has watched the entire year of BH2.oh and read or watched various other nerdfighter things. I woke up this morning to an email that said he posted a comment on a group I'm apart of--at 2 in the morning. Now granted, I left his house around 1:40 but still, the fact that instead of going to sleep like any normal person would do (okay I sat and played Scooby-doo's 3d haunted house game with a friend for a bit... seriously, look into buying it and changing the ghosts face, it is hilarious ... annnnywho) he got on nerdfighters and joined the ning. We always joke to each other that he is going to turn into a 15 year old girl, and quite possibly at the rate of awesome he is going--it's entirely feasible. :-)
The ning and youtube
So, I use to be a part of the original brotherhood website--does that even exist anymore? I liked it because it was fresh, new and simple. We talked about NF (from henceforth will mean nerdfighter) t-shirts, and ripping Hank's songs from youtube to listen while away from the computer. I tried to start a discussion on how to make my dorm more ecofriendly and got maybe two posts. If I posted that here today, I would get a bajillion posts--that part I really like. However, I feel more than 80 percent of them would start with, I can't wait to live in a dorm! or well I don't live in a dorm yet but you could do x,y, and z. It also is weird when someone on the ning hits on me and then I realize they are 16. Most video responses or vlogs that have branched from BH2.oh are from people born in the 90s, to me that is bizarre! However, when we do the project for awesome, I see fellow nerdfighters my age climb out of the woodwork and it makes me feel a little less creepy.
Overall
I think this site, the idea being a nf, what nfs stands for and what it has created is amazing. In high school my group of friends were definitely nfs and we knew were were awesome but I think having the idea nfs to reinforce that for younger generations is really good. I think anything that promotes being active in your community, reading, celebrating being smart, being active in things like KIVA, and hank dressing as Carrie Bradshaw and hankrolling us all is something so positive and so awesome that is just blows my mind. I also think it is important for the 40 something year old nfs to tell the 30 something year old nfs about life, and the 30 something year old nfs to tell the 20 something year old nfs about life, and most importantly the 20 something year old nfs to tell the preteen and teenager nfs about life, high school, love, and to just be a mentor. My high school life would have been way better ( though it was pretty much an awesome experience) if I had a 20 something year old teach me about their experiences in high school and simple things like how how to get a male nf to like you, a female nf, because male nfs are a rare breed and really shy. So, basically I look at it from a less creepy place and more of an awesome big sister/ mentor role. Though I do wonder what Hank and John think about starting what some could consider a cult primarily of 15 year old girls. ;-)
And if any nerdfighters out there, male or female, would like some advice on life or high school feel free to message me because I'd love to help increase the level of awesome in your life.
DFTBA
Danielle
Seeing John and Hank
Back in November I celebrated my 21st birthday, I also attended the KC nerdfighters convention with John and Hank, with another 21 year old friend name Jackie. While there I saw two of my friends who are 22 and 21 and I'm sure we all just kind of noticed something odd about the event. We were all surrounded by 12-16 year olds. I was about the 6th person to arrive at the event and even skipped my GIS class for it. (If that isn't the definition of nerd, I don't know what is) As Jackie and I started to talk to the random girls there, we heard about how they were excited to be starting high school, were excited to be in high school or were excited to start looking for colleges. We met two freshmen in college who had driven 3 hours to see the event and even they felt a little creepy, though way less than us. Aside from my creepy friends, the only other older people there seemed to be either real life friends with Hank or John or the parents of the book obsessed and totally awesome nerdfighters.
Getting friends to join
So, a very good friend of mine use to make fun of Jackie and me for spending so much time on nerdfighters and use to make fun of us for reading John's books because they are geared towards 15 year old girls, or the twilight generation if you will. However, I some how convinced him enough to read Paper Towns in which he read in one night and flipped out about how great it was. Since then he has watched the entire year of BH2.oh and read or watched various other nerdfighter things. I woke up this morning to an email that said he posted a comment on a group I'm apart of--at 2 in the morning. Now granted, I left his house around 1:40 but still, the fact that instead of going to sleep like any normal person would do (okay I sat and played Scooby-doo's 3d haunted house game with a friend for a bit... seriously, look into buying it and changing the ghosts face, it is hilarious ... annnnywho) he got on nerdfighters and joined the ning. We always joke to each other that he is going to turn into a 15 year old girl, and quite possibly at the rate of awesome he is going--it's entirely feasible. :-)
The ning and youtube
So, I use to be a part of the original brotherhood website--does that even exist anymore? I liked it because it was fresh, new and simple. We talked about NF (from henceforth will mean nerdfighter) t-shirts, and ripping Hank's songs from youtube to listen while away from the computer. I tried to start a discussion on how to make my dorm more ecofriendly and got maybe two posts. If I posted that here today, I would get a bajillion posts--that part I really like. However, I feel more than 80 percent of them would start with, I can't wait to live in a dorm! or well I don't live in a dorm yet but you could do x,y, and z. It also is weird when someone on the ning hits on me and then I realize they are 16. Most video responses or vlogs that have branched from BH2.oh are from people born in the 90s, to me that is bizarre! However, when we do the project for awesome, I see fellow nerdfighters my age climb out of the woodwork and it makes me feel a little less creepy.
Overall
I think this site, the idea being a nf, what nfs stands for and what it has created is amazing. In high school my group of friends were definitely nfs and we knew were were awesome but I think having the idea nfs to reinforce that for younger generations is really good. I think anything that promotes being active in your community, reading, celebrating being smart, being active in things like KIVA, and hank dressing as Carrie Bradshaw and hankrolling us all is something so positive and so awesome that is just blows my mind. I also think it is important for the 40 something year old nfs to tell the 30 something year old nfs about life, and the 30 something year old nfs to tell the 20 something year old nfs about life, and most importantly the 20 something year old nfs to tell the preteen and teenager nfs about life, high school, love, and to just be a mentor. My high school life would have been way better ( though it was pretty much an awesome experience) if I had a 20 something year old teach me about their experiences in high school and simple things like how how to get a male nf to like you, a female nf, because male nfs are a rare breed and really shy. So, basically I look at it from a less creepy place and more of an awesome big sister/ mentor role. Though I do wonder what Hank and John think about starting what some could consider a cult primarily of 15 year old girls. ;-)
And if any nerdfighters out there, male or female, would like some advice on life or high school feel free to message me because I'd love to help increase the level of awesome in your life.
DFTBA
Danielle
Friday, April 03, 2009
Day three and drunk skanks
I haven't gone to bed yet, so I am counting this as day three.
I had the extreme pleasure of seeing a ton of drunk freshman dressed in barely anything tonight. I feel like it is up to the juniors and seniors to say hey, ladies--that is not classy, it's just trashy. There are so many things I've learned and wish I would have know as a freshman. As an RA I can't help but think of my girls as my girls. This year I'm not as attached to my floor so it is less of a big deal but last year I would always just want to beat up their crappy boyfriends and say hey lady, this guy is an asshole--why are you putting up with him? But then I remembered, they are freshman and that is what they do until they learn themselves what an asshole is.
I'm le tired.
I had the extreme pleasure of seeing a ton of drunk freshman dressed in barely anything tonight. I feel like it is up to the juniors and seniors to say hey, ladies--that is not classy, it's just trashy. There are so many things I've learned and wish I would have know as a freshman. As an RA I can't help but think of my girls as my girls. This year I'm not as attached to my floor so it is less of a big deal but last year I would always just want to beat up their crappy boyfriends and say hey lady, this guy is an asshole--why are you putting up with him? But then I remembered, they are freshman and that is what they do until they learn themselves what an asshole is.
I'm le tired.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
BEDA II
The thing that I don't like about this whole BEDA thing is, I never know what to say. I'm a firm believer in shutting up if you don't have anything to say. That is one of the problems I think the world has today. Everyone just talks to hear themselves and no one listens today. I think this is a problem with our generation--if anything this is the main problem with our generation. But, instead of talking about this, I'm gonna go spend time with some friends. Perhaps I'll update this later.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
BEDA classes!
So, I'm doing this whole BEDA thing! Blog Every Day (in) April!
I finished enrolling in classes today! I'm taking Oceanography, GPS application in environmental research, remote sensing, field ecology, climate and climate change and western civ!
Gross! However, I will not be an RA next year, so I'll have a lot more time... God I hope so. It's only 17 hours, which is only one more than the most I've taken. I'm a little scared, it's gonna be so intense classes. However, hopefully it'll be awesome.
Until then, I'll sit and watch trash TV with Allison and think of something better to blog about.
DFTBA
-Danielle
I finished enrolling in classes today! I'm taking Oceanography, GPS application in environmental research, remote sensing, field ecology, climate and climate change and western civ!
Gross! However, I will not be an RA next year, so I'll have a lot more time... God I hope so. It's only 17 hours, which is only one more than the most I've taken. I'm a little scared, it's gonna be so intense classes. However, hopefully it'll be awesome.
Until then, I'll sit and watch trash TV with Allison and think of something better to blog about.
DFTBA
-Danielle
Sunday, February 15, 2009
love
For all intents and purposes I am Mary Jo.
Yesterday brings up a large question; what is love?
I have been in love many times, unfortunately--or fortunately depending on your views of love-- they have all been with unattainable people. A boy who was taken, a guy that had no interest in me and a gay male.
When asking the question, what is love? People have given me many answers-- the complete giving of one's self. Rather wanting to fight with someone instead of making love with someone else. Finally, at least from the three I can recall-- when you are with the other person you feel complete.
but honestly, what does it all mean? Is love an idea, an emotion, a physical being?
I'm still just waiting for someone to love that can love me back in the same moment. Whatever that means.
Yesterday brings up a large question; what is love?
I have been in love many times, unfortunately--or fortunately depending on your views of love-- they have all been with unattainable people. A boy who was taken, a guy that had no interest in me and a gay male.
When asking the question, what is love? People have given me many answers-- the complete giving of one's self. Rather wanting to fight with someone instead of making love with someone else. Finally, at least from the three I can recall-- when you are with the other person you feel complete.
but honestly, what does it all mean? Is love an idea, an emotion, a physical being?
I'm still just waiting for someone to love that can love me back in the same moment. Whatever that means.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
You have to be the change to make the change.
I am so tired of having people around me wanting to have change but not willing to put forth the effort for it. I am with an organization that was made to change things to make being on staff more enjoyable and to work for the staff. Yet, every meeting is the same, we haven't finished this yet-- we haven't sent out information yet, we'll do it later. Then people wonder why nothing ever gets done. I'm sick of this. You have to be the change to make the change.
One of my favorite ecologists, Edward Ricketts, was big on the belief that to change things and discover things you must do. You can't worry about what will happen or will it be cost efficient--will you waste too much time and money doing it? If you do, in the end you will still be wondering and you will be wasting much more time than if you just did it.
Is it human stubbornness that makes us not follow through with actions or is it simply fear? If it is a cause we want to push through and are for it should not be stubbornness--but fear doesn't quite fit either. It must be laziness.
I'm going to stop writing and I'm going to just do.
dftba
danielle
One of my favorite ecologists, Edward Ricketts, was big on the belief that to change things and discover things you must do. You can't worry about what will happen or will it be cost efficient--will you waste too much time and money doing it? If you do, in the end you will still be wondering and you will be wasting much more time than if you just did it.
Is it human stubbornness that makes us not follow through with actions or is it simply fear? If it is a cause we want to push through and are for it should not be stubbornness--but fear doesn't quite fit either. It must be laziness.
I'm going to stop writing and I'm going to just do.
dftba
danielle
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