love

For all intents and purposes I am Mary Jo.

Yesterday brings up a large question; what is love?

I have been in love many times, unfortunately--or fortunately depending on your views of love-- they have all been with unattainable people. A boy who was taken, a guy that had no interest in me and a gay male.

When asking the question, what is love? People have given me many answers-- the complete giving of one's self. Rather wanting to fight with someone instead of making love with someone else. Finally, at least from the three I can recall-- when you are with the other person you feel complete.

but honestly, what does it all mean? Is love an idea, an emotion, a physical being?

I'm still just waiting for someone to love that can love me back in the same moment. Whatever that means.

You have to be the change to make the change.

I am so tired of having people around me wanting to have change but not willing to put forth the effort for it. I am with an organization that was made to change things to make being on staff more enjoyable and to work for the staff. Yet, every meeting is the same, we haven't finished this yet-- we haven't sent out information yet, we'll do it later. Then people wonder why nothing ever gets done. I'm sick of this. You have to be the change to make the change.
One of my favorite ecologists, Edward Ricketts, was big on the belief that to change things and discover things you must do. You can't worry about what will happen or will it be cost efficient--will you waste too much time and money doing it? If you do, in the end you will still be wondering and you will be wasting much more time than if you just did it.
Is it human stubbornness that makes us not follow through with actions or is it simply fear? If it is a cause we want to push through and are for it should not be stubbornness--but fear doesn't quite fit either. It must be laziness.

I'm going to stop writing and I'm going to just do.

dftba
danielle

Background

I should start with where I've been, it'll help explain where I'll go. My name is Danielle, and I turned 18 back in November. This past May I graduated from high school. As of count I have been to: Italy, Austria, Switzerland, France, England, The Vatican City, Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland and Germany by myself. Well, by myself meaning without my parents and family but with other teenagers. I spent two summers in those countries and I've spent the last summer and this current summer stuck in Kansas. It goes without saying that I am craving a new atmosphere. I am craving to travel.
As of to date, I have never smoked cigarettes nor pot, have never had more than a sip or two of alcohol at any given time, have never had sex nor even kissed a boy. One could say I'm very shelter and I don't want to be anymore. During high school I wrote for the yearbook and won many awards, wrote many stories but most importantly I met a lot of people that I wouldn't have given the time of day to if I was still the person I was before I joined yearbook. It opened me up and made me that person that everyone knows I guess you could say. I loved it, but lately I've kind of kept to myself and once again I don't want to anymore.
I work at a retirement home as a waitress and when I hear stories from people about what they did in their life and how they know 7 different languages fluently or how they were one of the first girls to work on bomber planes for WWII it makes me feel inadequate and it makes me think how pointless our generation is.
In the fall I am attending university still in Kansas. I didn't apply anywhere else, but it is a good school and it's so different from the Kansas I grew up in that I know it will be a good learning experience for me. I'm rather judgmental about people who enjoy life under the influence but as it turns out I have been placed in the druggie dorm on campus. So I think it will put me in a new perspective and become more accepting to people and their ways. I hoping while in college I can travel abroad, I know I will. I wouldn't mind taking a break from my life to see other cultures life. I want that, I don't want my simple watch tv, surf the net, hang out with the same people and work at the old folks home life anymore. I want something different something new. I want to take charge of my life. As of now I am pre-journalism with a side of history.
That's it for now, as I go farther in life and experience new things I'll add more as I check them off things I want to do before I die.
Danielle